Well mine is a mixed bag. On the one hand I am going to daily Mass more often, and I have made progress on the issues that I needed to work on.
But I still flirt with spiritual sloth. I read about God all day long. But I am losing the battle of prayer. Yet I know deep in my mind, heart, soul and gut, that I can’t have a relationship with God if I don’t have a conversation with him every day. Conversation. Not monologue. I have to listen.
My favorite deacon and I have been married almost 39 years because we get that we have to take time to converse every day. But do I get that my heart yearns to talk to God?
Jesus is not going to give me at theology exam at judgment day. I wish. I would pass with flying colors. Passing the Christian vocation to Agape. Not so much.
He is going to shine his light into my heart. Is he going to find darkness or light? Is he going to say you have been a good and faithful servant—a true friend, or is he going to say you are a fraud?
Lord Jesus have mercy on me a sinner. Please shine your light into the darkness of my heart so that I can learn to truly love you and my neighbor.