The Ironic Catholic answers with a little help from his friends.

Ignatius of Loyola:
For the spiritual exercise.

St. Antony of the desert:
Road?

Teilhard de Chardin:
The chicken was pursuing a teleological upsurge toward final consummation in the Omega Point of Divine Love.

Flannery O’Connor:
The chicken was struck by a truck while crossing the road, but experienced a flash of grace in the instant of its death. I prefer peacocks anyway.

St. John of the Cross:
The chicken was practicing detachment from all things northbound.

St. Augustine:
After a life of fowl debauchery, ignoring his chickenly restlessness and turning away from the peaceful goodness that is God alone, the chicken received the grace to convert, turning and walking the other way–thereby crossing the road of life versus death, praise be to God.

Thomas Aquinas:
Whether the chicken crossed the road?
Objection: It seems that the chicken did not cross the road, for chickens are accustomed to the farmyards that are the source of their food, and the hen house that is the source of their rest.
On the contrary, “And God said to Noah, ‘Go into the ark, and take with you . . . seven pairs of birds of the air. . . .” — which could not have been accomplished had the chickens not crossed the road to the ark.

Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith:
We don’t care why the chicken crossed the road, as long as it had the right of way and crossed in an approved crosswalk.

St. Lawrence of Rome:
Run, chicken, run! Run from the rotisserie!

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